My attractions oscillate between genders and sexes. Although I'm tempted over and over again to make a decision and be straight or gay, I think I'm approaching a place where the temptation may be less and less visible to me.
Falling in between the extremes of gay and straight is a niche that I've found suits me. A loved one recently expressed his struggle to identify with this position emotionally (intellectually, he's a smart cookie, and gets it). I laughed and shrugged--- I don't think you can identify emotionally with me in this way unless you share in it. Sorry!
He went on to say that if his future mate had this same fluid sense of sexual orientation, he might find it very hard to find peace with. I concede his point but offered, “The person I'm going to be with will be fine with it.” Or, they won't be, but that ain't my issue!
I told him: to say I'm lesbian is as much of a lie as to say I'm straight. I'm just not. And I won't chose or make any declarations until I'm sure-- to do so would put me right back in a closet out of which I already came.
So to the whomevers of my future: I'm glad you're cool with me being me.
Thanks for letting me fly my freak flag.
And no, I don't miss wo/men.
Yes, you're exactly enough.
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